Football

I play it. I watch it. I dream it (can be dangerous. I tend to wake up to intense pain in my feet from kicking walls, draws, people etc.). If it was air, I would breathe it. If it was edible, I would eat it. To me it is like water, I cannot survive without it. Aka., it's my life. As obsessions are. 

It's hard though. After just over 7 years now of playing (3 of those playing for 2 teams at the same time, 2 years in a centre of excellence. 6 years dedication to, and captaining of my school team), my knees ache, my ankles ruined, hips dodgy, lower back pain, muscles tight as a drum and shoulders that just do whatever the hell they want! Not to mention the hours of social life lost to training, restricted diet and closely monitored exercise programmes. Would I change all of that? No. It's a drug to me. The high of winning. The being part of a team. The massive adrenaline rush before a game. The total sense of inner peace and being able to completely shut out the outside world that I only get when I'm on the field. The huge exercise high. That huge, beautiful exercise high. It's therapy. 

I've played 2 games in 7 months now, due to various factors, and those both coming in the last 3 weeks. One less than 48 hours after stepping off the plane from New Zealand! It was a weird 7 months. I mean, I had to fill this massive void in my life. But when you're in New Zealand for most of those months, it's not hard to find distraction  (although some of my distractions were training for my return to playing when I got back). I thought, before I went, I wouldn't cope. Indeed, I did buy a football within 2 weeks of being there, but that's not the point. It was more of a safety blanket. I survived. That's reassuring. One day the aforementioned aches and pains in my life are going to become too much and I might have to put being able to walk in later life above playing. It's sad, but when that day comes, I'm going to have to hang up my boots for good, walk away from this obsession, leave pretty much everything I know behind. Go cold turkey? No. In my decision to do Exercise and Sports Science at uni, I think a very small subconscious part of me was probably making contingency plans so I can keep a part of football in my life for when that dreaded day comes.

But for now, I will continue to be completely, totally and entirely devoted to my obsession with football.

Age 14(ish)